Globusz^® Publishing 

Today I am retired and living on a small saving and disability from both the Navy and Government. The Navy is due to hearing damage obtained while working on the USS Grand Canyon. The government is due to being disabled because of Aids. That was the only bad effect of being bi sexual. I am not sure if I received it from a man or girl and do not care now. I simply live with it and take care of myself. As of this date, I am what they call undetectable and taking steps to stay that way.

At the present time I have to deal with cancer (non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma) and cardio vascular heart disease. Am still in remission the second time on the cancer. The heart disease is a new development and the damage is not curable or repairable. One of these, if not both will do me in before too long. This does not bother me and have no fear or concerns about dying.

I am enjoying life and living in Hawaii. To keep myself occupied, I do volunteer work for the VA at Tripler Army Hospital (which takes care of all my medical needs). Yes, they know about my sexual life. And is not a matter they care about. As of now l have no sexual life. Since the VA has been providing all my medical care, working as a volunteer has let me do a little pay back and help other veterans in their system. As of this date, I have accumulated over fourteen thousand hours of volunteer work and still going.

Perhaps you missed this, but the absence of a family life was a strong factor on how I lived. It did limit me on stability on many issues and a weakness to find a stable place to stay and live. I am aware that stability and even caring comes from a good family life when one is a child and even into adult life. I simply had to adapt as things progressed for better or worse. It probably accounts for my not having a good relationship with a woman and in some instances jobs due to insecure feelings about family life and caring. I do have the feeling I would have loved being married and have children, but could not do so with the trauma and stress of my childhood effecting my ability to do so.

I was fortunate to meet a few of the other children who had lived at ISSCS. Some I had actually lived with in Washington cottage under Mrs. Ward. We had common consent about her and the effects it had on our lives. We found some had trouble adjusting to life after leaving the institution. All agreed, that their children would never be allowed to be treated in that manner. I will say most, including myself, are not blaming the home for anything. We realize this was not a perfect home, but it was in some ways still good for us. One might say that for some strife and suffering built character. I simply say: it was good luck to leave her and the home behind.

One man I met had actually remembered me and lived with me in Washington cottage under Mrs. Ward. He had me contacted by the Rock Island railroad about a job as a railroad policeman. This was originally to be an undercover officer regarding some illegal hiring of Mexican workers smuggled into the Chicago railroad yard in Blue Island, then being used on private farms across the line in Indiana. Before I got started, the case broke and I was assigned a plain-clothes police officer in the yards on night shift. This was not a job for me and did not stay very long. The man I was talking about, Bob Beacraft (not sure last name is exactly correct) and I swapped many stories about Mrs. Ward and the home. He had a nice family and met with him several times. He said he swore never to treat his family and children like she did.

As I read the news and watch news on television, I feel sad to see what is happening to children with families that cannot appreciate them or don't even care about them. In a nation like ours, there is just too much strife generated over religious ideology and political ignorance that many families are too divided to live a normal life. This is tearing our nation apart and making the American dream a myth.

Perhaps some may think I am tainted by the life I have described. Remember, it allowed me to look without pink colored glasses at what really goes on. It was my experience – both good and lots of bad sides of life. I was fortunate not to surrender to the bad side and always look for the good I saw around me. It also fed my curiosity to see what caused all this turmoil. As a last time, my on line books give a good explanation on this subject and what I derived from all my lifetime study.

At this time, you may be wondering why write such a book. If one looks at all the turmoil in the world, much of it is just the lack of caring about your fellow humans. I am trying to show how my life helped me to keep an open mind about my fellow humans and not have prejudice about any religious, sexual, political or social attitudes. I tend to never blame anyone on anything that happened over my lifetime. I hold no hatred, distrust or place blame on anyone about my life. It is true, the time at the northwest corner of Normal had effect on my life, still is not to be used in a derogatory way by me. It was simply the way things were.