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I have been in deep thought for a couple months now. I was all about the idea of ‘shooting up cops and feds’ for the sake of anarchy. I was ready to go out and join or build a militia specifically for that purpose. I had built up so much hate for these people... the ones who form the governments of the world. I wanted all of them to die or become imprisoned, and I wanted to destroy the currency system, which most people rely so heavily on. I thought that if I were successful in destroying the ‘New World Order’ as some put it, humanity as a whole would be free.
But then I started to consider what I was preparing to do. I was ready to go out, and, yes, KILL people. Kill FELLOW HUMANS! I realized that would be just as bad as their murdering and enslaving innocent people for the sake of the system. How could that accomplish anything? At the very least, it would set an example that stated that killing is okay. IT'S NOT. Maybe in a self-defense situation – but only if your very life is directly threatened. And even then, there's most always a way around killing.
Once I realized this, I began to reform my whole view on everything. I knew there was a problem, and I knew that I must do something about it... but killing these people just wouldn't do it. Even IF I were to be successful, something would be missing. There would have to be something to keep this from happening again.
I don't know how long I searched... both myself and the thoughts of others via the internet and books... I had to find the answer somewhere. I knew it was within me, but I just didn't know how to recognize it. My thoughts had been clouded by hate for so long, that I just couldn't see it anymore.
Then I somehow stumbled upon it... in someone else's words. I ran across Neo's website during a particularly intense search one night. I read through it and realized – that thing that was missing... it was love. I was shocked that I had forgotten it. Love is the thing that can fix all of this. And I don't mean the physical thing into which society has degraded their meaning of love, but actual love. That feeling that allows us to appreciate all life, and to appreciate each other.
I once felt this way about all life: that all living creatures have a right to live freely. But after several years of frustration, having seen things become worse and worse, I gave in to hate, and lost sight of the beauty of this world.
I have begun a new journey. Not one of destruction, but one of love. My journey's goal is to show the world that there is more to life than how much is on the paycheck, how nice the car is, how big the house is, etc. There's more to it than material possessions and popularity. I hope to reach into the darkest corners of the earth with this message of love. I hope to take part in the softening of even the hardest hearts. They need to be loved just like anyone else. They need to see the lives they are destroying. They need to see that these lives they are ruining are more than just pawns in a grand chess game – no, they are humans. As Neo would put it, they are sentient beings and deserve every right to live free.
I don't care how much time it takes, or any of that – this is the most important thing to me. I need to see this happen. This isn't some pie-in-the-sky dream of mine – this is something real. Or at least it's real to me, and a few others at this point. And I want it to be real to everyone.
I trust Neo to lead us on this journey. His words were so clear – they helped me to realize what I had forgotten – what I was missing for such a long time. I believe he knows what he is doing. I'm behind and with him 100% on this. It is all that I care about. I want love to spread throughout the world – to permeate every being and cause a major change for the better.
(Northern California)
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