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SINCE THE DAY HE DRANK Judy’s first cup of coffee it had become a pleasant routine. Walking back to the post office with the afternoon refreshment, he decided to observe the children going by Mr. Bob’s place on their way home from school. He placed one of the chairs Mike had provided for the growing crowd near the corner of the post office and sat drinking his Coke while watching the kids playing down the sidewalk. Without warning, a large, black dog began chasing them, children running in all directions. One of the smaller children fell and the dog grabbed him and shook the child like a rag doll. Just as he thought the kid was dead, a whistle blew and the dog dropped the child and ran to his master.
Jim was sick to his stomach. A crowd joined the small child and then someone arrived with a car and took the injured child away. He decided some long-range revenge would be the order of the day, and real soon.
That night Jim opened his large suitcase and took out a long, wooden box. Using a large screwdriver he removed the top board. Inside was a state-of-the-art riflescope. It was the only item he had taken along from previous missions. He took the scope from its case and wrapped it in a kitchen towel. He placed the scope and towel into a large paper bag. He then wrote three quick letters, addressed them and placed a stamp on each. After placing them in the bag with the scope he knew he was ready.
Just as he got around the corner next to the bus station Billy Bob pulled his police car in front of the city jail. As Billy Bob got out of the car he saw him. “Early bird!”? Billy Bob said.
“I guess so.”
“That’s great. Come on in. Let’s have a cup of coffee.”
Jim walked into the office and was shocked at what he saw.
“Looks like you are going to war. Never saw so many maps in all my life.”
“A lot of maps of the same area, that’s all.”
“What do you mean?” — Jim said.
“Each year I plot the deer sign I find. The next year I transfer all the old plots to a new map. With all this information I’m able to pattern the bucks in the area. Deer, like people, are creatures of habit. They seem to travel the same trail each year.”
“What kind of sign do you plot?”
“Deer rubs and scrapes.”
“What’s a scrape?”
“Oh, that’s how the buck lets the doe in the area know he’s around. The buck will scrape the ground clean of leaves and sticks with his front feet. He’ll then urinate in the middle. When a doe comes by, she’ll smell the urine on the ground. If she’s ready to breed, she will wait around for the buck that made the scrape. A rub is where a buck will rub all the bark off a small tree. He does this first to get the velvet off his antlers, but later he’s just marking his territory.”
“You sure know a lot about deer.”
“The more you know the better the chance you’ll be successful.”
“I can see that” —Jim said with a smile. “Where can I get a copy of those maps?”
“Here. I have a couple extras. Take these.”
“Oh, I couldn’t” ? Jim would pretend.
“Yeah, you could. You need to know the area we’ll hunt.”
“Where will that be?”
Billy Bob took the map he had given him and drew a small circle on the bottom of the left-hand side of the sheet. “Take it home with you and study it.”
“I will, thanks.”
“Are you ready to get on the road?”
“You bet.”
They had not been on the road for more than ten minutes when Billy Bob exclaimed: “Oh, my God! I forgot to let Mr. Bob know I’m gone for the day.”
“Do we need to go back?” — Jim said.
“No, there’s a service station just down the road. I’ll use their pay phone.”
Billy Bob pulled hard into the gas station parking area, hopped out with the engine running and made his call. Only then did he seem to relax. He walked back to the car to let Jim know he was going in to get a cup of coffee and to see if he wanted one.
“Yeah, thanks, make mine black.”
As soon as Billy Bob walked away and into the convenience store, he went to the pay phone and quickly dialed the operator. She came on the line with: “Number, please.”
“Ma’am, I’m working with Billy Bob. Some kids have been making prank bomb calls to the principal of the school. We are trying to find which phone they used. Another prank call was made a few minutes ago. Could you please give me the last number called from this phone?”
“My name’s Stacy. You tell Billy Bob this gives me a freebee. Okay?”
“I will.”
“The number is 632-7676.”
He thanked her for the help and walked back to the car. Billy Bob came out with the coffee just as Jim settled back down in the car seat. Figuring that Jim just used the phone, he asked: “Called your girl?”
“No, I remembered I left my hot plate turned on. Called Mr. Barkley so he could turn it off for me.”
“It wouldn’t do for you to burn down the post office, would it? ”
As they traveled to Atlanta, Billy Bob became more talkative. Jim discovered if he sounded impressed by what he was saying the stories got even bigger and more exaggerated.
“Billy Bob, how long have you been Blue Ridge Sheriff?”
“Mr. Bob had the mayor appoint me the summer I got out of high school.”
“Wow, right out of high school?” — Jim said.
“Yeah, he wanted someone to control the kids taking short cuts across his yard. He fixed that problem a couple of years ago.”
He avoided asking the follow up question and instead said: “You seem to like your job.”
“Well, why not? When I was in high school I couldn’t even get a date. Now I get more pussy than anyone in town, except maybe Craig.”
“The girls around here like uniforms that much?”
“No, that’s not it. You would not believe how many lawbreakers want to get out of a ticket. Many of these women will lose their license if they get one more.” Then he exaggerated a few more war stories on what a great lover he was and even more regarding the control he had on the women in the area. It was all Jim could do to keep his anger under control, or to laugh. Finally, they stopped in front of a building that looked like an old trading post. The sign over the front porch read “Kurt’s Gun and Supplies.”
“Kurt’s a real character. I think you’ll like him.”
“I hope so”— Jim said in a straight-faced way.
As they walked through the door Kurt called out: “What can I do for you boys today?”
“Jim here wants you to make him a deer rifle out of this Springfield.”
“Boy, can you handle a 30-06?”
“I used to shoot with my dad’s rifle. It kicked like hell but it hit the target.”
“Yeah, well, and it’ll kill what you hit, too.”
Getting out of his chair with a bit of effort, Kurt said: “Let me see the rifle. When do you want it back?”
“He needs it for deer season”— Billy Bob said with a nice voice.
“That’s just two weeks away!”— Kurt replied.
“Well, can you do it?” — Billy Bob said in an insisting way.
“No, not really. But I just converted one of my own. If you want to trade guns, I can let you have that one.”
“What’s it going to cost, Jim?”
“His rifle and $50.” Kurt waited for the reaction.
“Wow, that’s a little steep.”
“Because he is your friend, I could let it go for $45.”
“If you will mount the scope for me I will give you the rifle and forty dollars.”
Kurt stuck out his hand: “It’s a deal! I can’t mount it until the weekend, however. That’ll be okay, won’t it?”
“Yeah, I’m coming down here for Mr. Bob next week anyway” — Billy Bob said. “I could pick it up then.”
“Great, looks like I get to hunt, thanks” — Jim said.
“Let me see that scope of yours.”
Jim walked out to the car and retrieved the large paper bag. He pulled out the scope wrapped in the towel. When Kurt saw the scope he let out a long whistle. “Son, where did you get this scope?”
“It was a bonus on the last job I had.”
“Your boss must have really liked you!” — Kurt said.
Billy Bob said in a curious way and aimed at Kurt: “Why do you say that?”
“Son, do you know how much a scope like this costs?”
“No, sir. I don’t. Is it much?”
“You can buy a car for less.”
A little jealous, Billy Bob asked sheepishly to cover up his lack of knowledge concerning specialty riflescopes: “What’s so special about it?”
“Well, first it is adjustable from 4 to 12 power, but best of all it was built to collect light, almost of night vision quality. If you had a full moon, you would see through the scope like it was daytime. That will be great for those big bucks that only come out at dark. Boy, will they be surprised. Son, it’s a shame you are putting this scope on a fifty dollar rifle.”
“Forty dollar rifle.”
“Yes, a $40 rifle.”
“Won’t the rifle do the job?”
“Oh, it will get the job done. It’s just like putting a Rolls Royce radiator cap on a Chevrolet. It does the job but it sure looks strange. Son, do you mind if I shoot it a few times after I mount it?”
“No, sir. Shoot as many times as you like.”
“What distance do you plan to zero it?”
Looking at Billy Bob to get his approval, Jim said: “What do you think? A hundred and fifty yards?”
Still a little jealous, he was caught off guard by the question: “I guess that will be good, yeah, make it a hundred and fifty yards.”
“Is that a grocery store next door?”
“Yes, sir, it is. Old man Turner runs it.”
“Billy Bob, I’m going to get me a couple of apples for the ride back. Do you want one?”
“Sure, but we can stop for lunch on the way home.”
“We can still do that, just need a snack to tide me over. I’ll be right back.” He left quickly before Billy Bob could reply.
As he walked in, Jim saw an old man who looked like he was in his seventies. Picking up his apples, he said: “Are these apples good?”
“They tell me they are. Don’t know myself. I can’t eat them with my new teeth. Anything else you need?”
“No, sir.”
“That’ll be eighty cents.”
“Sir, I was wondering if I could ask a favor.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m going to be out of town for a few months and won’t be able to send a letter to my grandfather. I send him one every two weeks. He looks forward to those letters coming in and I don’t want to disappoint him. Could you send one of these every two weeks? I’ve written three. That should be enough until I get back.”
“Son, it’s nice to see a youngster taking care of his grandfather. Give me those letters. Which one do you want mailed first?”
Jim marked them and thanked him again.
Walking up to the door he threw an apple to Billy Bob and said: “The old man told me they were great apples.” Then he threw one to Kurt.
“Jim, are you ready to hit the road?”
“I guess so. Anything else you need Kurt?”
“Nope. Your rifle will be ready next week. Send me a picture of what you kill.”
He thought for a minute and then said: “I’ll try to see if I can hit anything.”
Billy Bob said: “When can you have the Springfield converted? I think I need one.”
“December, at the earliest.”
“See you next week” — Billy Bob said.
“So long.”
On the way back to Blue Ridge Billy Bob kept pushing for information on the scope. Jim steered the conversation back to Billy Bob’s love life, all the while saying to himself that Billy Bob wasn’t as stupid as he looked. With his ego getting the best of him, Billy Bob took the bait like a large mouth bass.
After being on the road for almost an hour, Billy Bob’s stories began to dry up. For a while there was silence in the car, strange silence.
“How did it feel to shoot someone?”
For a moment Billy Bob didn’t respond. Jim was afraid at that point he had pushed it too far, that the newfound friendship would not stand for such an intrusion.
“Strange at first, like it was happening and I had no control over it. When it was over, I had a rush you wouldn’t believe.”
“Were you afraid afterwards?”
“Oh, yes, until I called Craig” — Billy Bob said, smiling.
“What did he do?”
“He told me I shot her in the line of duty, to be proud of what I had done. Then I knew everything was okay.”
“What made her try to kill you?”
“I’m not sure. All I wanted was a piece of ass. Craig had been tapping it for a while, so I figured it was time I got some. Her daddy was a drunk anyway. It was on a Saturday when he was rip-roaring drunk, couldn’t count to three. He ran his truck off an embankment and into the church cemetery. I was the first one to find him. The old man was too drunk to get hurt so I threw him in the backseat of my car. He stayed passed out. I decided it would be worth some of Miss Susie’s time to keep me from locking up her old man. Got the picture so far?”
“What did she do?”
“Oh, at first she was all for it. She said that sex was all Craig and I thought about. She pointed to her bedroom and said: “Let’s get it over with.” Then it happened.
“What?”
“While I was taking off my clothes she jumped up from the bed and said she would be right back. She came back all right ? with the biggest knife I ever saw. She screamed: you will never want another woman then she came after my “manhood”. I found my pistol and yelled for her to stop. When she saw the weapon, rather than backing off, she became a wild woman. Each time I shot her she would stop for a second then come after me again with the big knife. I’ll never know what made her so crazy. But, hey, you know what’s funny?”
“No, what?”
“Craig told me later that it was a good thing I didn’t screw her because, if I had, I would’ve got the clap. He told me that was why he didn’t fuck her anymore.”
“Boy, you were really lucky.”
“Yeah, that VD is bad shit!”
Billy Bob eventually parked in front of the city jail.
“I’ll pick up your rifle next week. Give me a call on Thursday.”
“I’ll do that. Thanks so much for the ride. Had a good time” — Jim said, concealing his disgust.
“See ya’. Gotta check in” — Billy Bob said.
“Later!”
The next morning Mike wanted to know if he had a good time. He assured him he had a great time and that the lobster was delicious. He also mentioned to Mike that his friend was getting a promotion and might be moving to Texas or California. He let Mike know that when his friend moved the man planned to build his own house and had asked him for some help.
“Are you going to leave us?”
“Well, maybe for a couple of months.”
“That should be fun for a while anyway” — Mike said. “Let’s go get some of Judy’s coffee.”
“Sounds great!” He felt good when he was with this old man.
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