Papà sat on the recliner clad in chocolate leather, holding The Guardians Guide open on the Borgias, his finger pointed at his photograph. No, Rudy wouldnt look at it. He knew it was over the review of the series where Bino Sammarco, the flashy, glitzy actor whod unfortunately fathered him, starred as the King of Naples.
Papà smiled cheerfully. Look at it.
Rudy forced himself to smile back. Seen it already. And hed read the review as well. The first favourable words over the past five years. But he hadnt come here to talk about that. Marion...he wanted to talk to him about her. Congratulationsits very good, he said at last.
Dyou mean it?
I certainly do.
Are you going to see next weeks episode?
I am indeed.
By the way, what dyou think about the scene with the equerry, the one I smacked on the jaw? Afraid I overdid it. Not the smack: my aside.
Rudy wondered if hed be able to break the news that Marion had filed for divorce, and looked Papà up and down. How come women found this sixty-nine-year old man with a prominent belly still attractive?
Papà, Marion...dyou know what shes done? Shes filed for
I overdid it. It wasnt my fault, though. Too short...the aside was too short. Id told the producer: Be good, give me a line here, but the idiot wouldnt listen.
I didnt notice it.
What?
That it was too short. It seemed perfect to me.
The idiot wouldnt listen. Hes a zombiedestroyed my scene.
No, the scene was good, believe me...Papà, Marion now wants a divorce.
They also made me look older. Of course, with that fucking beard.
You didnt look older.
I did, I did. Im not a young man. A man my age with a white beard. Idiots.
Papà, Marion wants a
Dont lie to me. I looked older...much older.
I wasnt lying to you. I was speaking about Marion.
Marion? What about her? Has she ditched that guy?
She wants a divorce.
And so? What did you expect, that she was ready for a ménage à trois?
Dont be so cynical.
Papà gulped his glass of red wine, and lit a cigarette. OK, as you like. Lets talk about something else. Dyou know Im going to voice-over a new BBC commentary in Italian for advanced learners? Start on Monday.
Oh Jesus.
What did you say?
Nothing, replied Rudy. A cigarette...he fancied one. Just one would do him no harm. Should he reach for Papàs packet? Better not. He must try to quit smokingif he had one now hed end up smoking thirty cigarettes a day again.
Hardly what I want, anyway. A long part in another series is what I wantthat would suit me fine. But Im getting old, havent got many years ahead. Nowadays older actors are brutally discriminated against. They prefer to sign up a thirty-five-year-old ham even for the part of a cardinal.
Like they did with you.
Sorry, say it again.
Nothing has changed. Theyve always preferred younger actors.
Yes, thats true.
Had he forgotten, or was he just pretending? Rudy couldnt say. He had a vision of Papà at thirty-six. He had just passed the eleven-plus. Mamma was slender and foxy, as Somali women usually were. Unlike a Somali she didnt look thirty-four, thoughNana was Somali, but Grandpa was Italian. No, Mamma wasnt the type a husband in his senses would dump. Yet Papà did dump her, for a very young English girl who was playing the part of an Irish nun while he was playing the part of a Roman Catholic bishop. Papà had said he would be back for supper, but never showed up again.
Rudy sighed. How different he was from both his parents: unlike Mamma, he wanted to win back his ex, and unlike Papà, didnt know how to. Papà could always win all of his exes, whether saints or whores, Mamma had never tried to win back her volatile husband. Not even Uncle Ugo, if they were in love...Oh God, dont start that again.
Im prepared to forgive Marion.
Well, forgive her.
Papà, please!
Your prick is too sentimental.
Has it ever entered your mind Im fond of her?
Well, she isnt of you.
What would you do if you were me?
Rape her.
Have you ever been fond of anybody but yourself?
Yes, of you, son. And of your mother. I still cherish her memory.
What would you have done if you werent fond of us?
Fled to Hollywood before you were born.
Why dont you do that now? Theyd welcome a great actor like you with open arms.
Piss off. Im fed up with your constant moaning about your bad luck.
Rudy turned round, and strode towards the door.
Rudy!
Ciao, he shouted, storming out of the room.
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