Globusz^® Publishing 

There was another quite unexpected occurrence when a strange dinghy, powered by an outboard motor, moored at the jetty and four youths with video cameras strode purposefully up through the village filming. They spread out and without any of the usual courtesies invited themselves into islanders” crofts and started filming and questioning them about their daily activities. The word spread fairly quickly about the intruders and the general consensus was that non-cooperation was the best policy. Our islanders were quite happy with our own filming arrangements and had built up an empathy with Ken and Alice who now moved among everyone, at any time of the day or night without any embarrassment and often without hardly, even being noticed.

When the youths met with this noticeable lack of co-operation they became more aggressive. A scuffle broke out in which Bob, James and Bill were involved. When I became aware of the problem I called on some of the other men as reinforcements and we decided to escort the youths back to their boat and send them packing. Further scuffles continued as we manhandled them back to the jetty where some of their filming equipment accidentally fell into the sea before they were all pushed back into their dinghy. There was a lot of cursing and swearing and threats that they would return and would pay us back for our treatment.

We discussed later, how we could respond if their threats to come back were carried out but decided that we could best deal with things as they occurred. However, we agreed to keep a wary eye open for their return and thought that generally non-cooperation was fairly effective with regard to their filming, but the men reasoned that they would assemble if there were any future need to eject them from the island again.

Late one afternoon, some two weeks later, they arrived again and it quickly became apparent that they were up to no good. As before, they moved up along the crofts, this time trashing early crops, daubing paint and spraying insulting slogans on every available surface, but, more seriously they went in to Jock and Morag’s home and threatened them with sticks. They did not steal anything but it frightened the couple out of their lives. The intruders then moved on to where Lynda was living and were unpleasant and abusive to her. I think she gave as good as she got, but they were still causing havoc when I heard about the problem. I quickly contacted Angus and asked him to immobilise the intruders boat down at the jetty. Then I spread the news that I needed volunteers to gather at the Lodge. It seemed that within minutes most of the men were present. As we assembled we noticed that our hay store was ablaze. My advice was to act in two groups, one to tackle the fire, the other to hunt for the youths — I wanted the four youths captured and tied up with their hands behind their backs. It took about half an hour for us to capture the first three but the fourth ran away up the hill and it took a further half an hour for Lynda to find him hiding in some bracken. He was no match for her with her karate skills and when we arrived on the scene he was cowering amongst the heather in submission. We then struggled to drag all four of them down to the canteen where we tied them up more securely with hands and feet together.

By late evening the fire at the hay store was still raging. The report was that about half our stock had been dragged safely away from the fire but that the rest had to be abandoned because no one could get close enough owing to the intense heat being produced. I had a telephone call from the police on the mainland saying that a coastguard had notified them of a fire. They asked if we required any assistance. I assured them that things were under control but that I would be sending the four culprits back the following morning. Perhaps they would like to interview them on landing. They asked if they had caused any other damage. I detailed what had happened and said I would ring again in the morning. I decided that we should all get to bed and asked for volunteers to arrange a rota to monitor the still burning hay store and to stay guard over our prisoners until morning.

The four individuals unsurprisingly spent a miserable and uncomfortable night. The following morning everyone gathered at the canteen to find out what was going to happen next.

I called on Kathy, our self appointed hairdresser, to come to the canteen with her hairdressing equipment saying that there was an urgent need for four haircuts to be carried out straight away.

“Now, Paddy and Bob — I said — help me hold this lad still. Kathy, shave his head clean.” There was much rolling about the ground and Paddy until Paddy warned him. “Stop struggling, you, or we may have to break your neck.”

As Kathy set to work Nick muttered: “Blimey, ‘es on the warpath, ‘e means business.”

“How close shall I go?”— Kathy asked as the first youth was held in an upright position, her electric shaver whirring.

“Just try and miss the bone”— I replied as everybody was beginning to see the funny side of things. She completed the task, seemingly enjoying the experience and brightly called, “Next customer please.” The next youth again put up a struggle but was soon submissive under the strong hands of the men.

Before long, four scowling and miserable youths had lost all their hair and much of their aggression but they still angrily kept repeating: “We’ll get you for this.”

I decided to organise some food for them. “Right, that’s a good job done. Now, I want four hot soups from the kitchen and as much food as they can eat.”

Four steaming bowls of soup duly appeared followed by substantial meals that were eagerly consumed.

“Make the most of it. Eat as much as you can. You’ll need all the warmth inside you that you can muster” — I warned them as a plan of action for them formed in my mind.

“Angus, make sure that they have enough fuel for a trip back to the mainland and that the motor is in good working order, and Paddy will you untie this one?” Paddy obliged and I then turned to one lad and said: “Right, you, take your clothes off.”

He looked at me aghast. “You’re joking? I’m not doing that for you or anybody.”

“Take them off or we’ll take them off for you.

Paddy, Patrick moved forward towards the now petrified lad.”

“OK, OK” — he said slowly removing his shirt.

“And the rest”— I said.

He could not believe what was happening. “You don’t mean it?”— He said aghast.

“Oh, yes I do”— I replied. “If you don’t get on with it soon we will do it for you.” Reluctantly he conformed to his intense embarrassment.

“Good. Now Angus, escort this lad to their boat and wait with him while we deal with the others.”

Soon, all four, bald headed intruders were sitting in the dinghy miserably trying to hide their shame from the gathering audience. They now had their legs and wrists untied.

“Right, so you’re now free to return to the mainland. It’s approaching midday so its not too cold but it will be cold enough out there to perhaps make you wish you had never contemplated this adventure. I’ve had a word with the local police who are anxious to meet you at the jetty you set out from and ask you a few questions. I have also been in touch with the local press to ensure that your arrival will be well documented with pictures in the papers. You will be watched from here and from the mainland so don’t try for any other place — and don’t come back here again or we would not be so kind to you next time. Start the engine.”

The engine started. And watched, I believe, by almost every islander, they slowly made their way out to sea on the correct course. Too slow, and their time out in the elements would be longer. Too fast, and the wind chill would drop the temperature by a few degrees. They soon appeared smaller and smaller as they moved into the distance. Nick was heard to mutter again: “Blimey, that’s the way to teach ‘em a lesson.”

We all turned to disperse, everyone chattering about the events of last evening and this morning, most saying that they could not have believed that island life could be so exciting.

A few days later we had sight of the local mainland newspaper complete with a large photograph of the miserable naked youths walking up the slipway. The full story was printed under the headline.

ARSONISTS GET FREE HAIRCUTS ON ENNISKERRY.

The loss of the hay and damage to barn itself was a problem but not a disaster. Morag and Jock were shocked and frightened at the time of the intrusion but they were not injured and did not appear to be suffering any lasting effects. Lynda was pleased that she was able to put her karate skills to some practical use and Kate seemed to get an extra flood of requests for haircuts. I think people just wanted to talk about the event over and over again. The punishment may have been a bit severe but I hoped it would send the message, should any other group think that we were a soft touch, that we were not to be messed with in this way.

I received several letters of support for my methods from across the water. Disorderly behaviour was only too prevalent in some parts of the mainland. Several felt it was unjust that we should have been targeted at all. Most welcome of all and very much appreciated was that the local mainlanders had arranged a collection, to which many had contributed in order to provide us with quantity of hay to replace part of that which had been lost in the fire. It was a very good boost to further strengthen our good relationships with the mainland.