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Acknowledgements are something, which readers as well as authors like to get over quickly. That sort of thing is really very tedious. Very trite too, especially nowadays, when certain types of novel are simply manufactured from a formula just like new dishes devised from old recipes by a painstaking housewife. For instance: "Take two youthful loving hearts. Proceed to break them. Bring passions to the boil. Sprinkle with some sweet church blessing. Cook thoroughly or half-bake. Suitable for all occasions."
Perhaps I'd better stop beating about the bush and tell prospective readers straight away that, before they can settle down to enjoy the story that follows, there is this disagreeable question of acknowledgements to be dealt with. So let's get it over - the sooner the better. Here, then, are the ingredients from which our novel must be produced:
Take a bright young girl who tries to make a living by translating ballads - and when we say this it must be understood that she isn't living in clover: statistics relating to the social background of the financial oligarchy of the world demonstrate that the number of plutocrats who have made their pile by translating ballads is incredibly small. Next, take an aged convict. Proceed to cleanse his heart of all sin until the precious stone of genuine charity shines forth from its most hidden recesses. This precious stone is worth, at a conservative estimate, one million pounds sterling. This aged convict - Jim Hogan by name - and the said young girl's late father, Mr. Weston, were at school together. Mr. Weston used to make occasional visits to his convict friend and would from time to time send in food parcels for him: in a word, he did his best to alleviate Jim Hogan's unfortunate lot. After Mr. Weston's death, his family continued the charitable work and the aged prisoner thus continued to receive his food parcels while the occasional visits were now paid him by the late Mr. Weston's daughter, Evelyn.
We also need a light-pursed, moony young man who goes by the name of Eddie Rancing. He tenants the garret room next door to the Westons'. As for his occupation, he is working on an invention - a device to be fitted on motorcycles - which, when completed, should bring in millions. His work has by now reached an advanced stage in which all the details are on his designing desk, though there is still a certain vagueness as to the main purpose of the device. Young Rancing, thanks to an allowance from his guardian and uncle, Mr. Arthur Rancing, read law for the space of about two terms, but has lately taken to gambling and has fallen into the habit of getting through his allowance during the first four days of the month. His leisure-hours young Rancing devotes to being in love with Evelyn Weston - a sentiment which, at the beginning of our story, is still unrequited.
I also have to introduce to you Mr. Charles Gordon, an enterprising gentleman preparing to leave very shortly the penitentiary institution where he had been sent for a term of six years. Five years and three hundred and sixty-two days Mr. Gordon has taken in his stride, so to speak, but now, for some reason, this whole prison business is beginning to get on his nerves. We all have these moods at times. I know a rambler and mountain-climber, a fellow mostly to be seen with rucksack and alpenstock, sporting an edelweiss or gentian in his hat, one who looks upon the summit of Mont Blanc as a sort of second home. Last week, this man, no doubt in one of these uncontrollable fits of passion, gave the porter a sock on the jaw when he discovered that, for the second time in a month, the lift was out of order and he would have to shin it up to the fifth floor. Similarly, with only three days to go before his release, Charles Gordon complained of racking headaches and an abnormally rapid heart-action, whereupon a sympathetic prison doctor sent him to hospital.
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